{"id":14520,"date":"2022-01-08T23:06:38","date_gmt":"2022-01-09T07:06:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/douglaslucas.com\/blog\/?p=14520"},"modified":"2022-01-11T10:53:39","modified_gmt":"2022-01-11T18:53:39","slug":"how-and-why-to-overcome-talking-trash-cans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/douglaslucas.com\/blog\/2022\/01\/08\/how-and-why-to-overcome-talking-trash-cans\/","title":{"rendered":"Saving dolla dolla bill: how and why to overcome talking trash cans"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Note: In 2022, I’m once again writing 52 blog entries, posted every Sunday. Flash fiction by me will soon arrive weekly too, by February, after I finish figuring out the tech details of where precisely on this website I might place it<\/em> so you can conveniently leave comments.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Broken
Trash can lid got wrecked; image sent, as explained below, to the Something Corporation<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Last April, I wrote about how and why to make beet root smoothies<\/a>, with such costly ingredients that even Michael Laufer, the (afaik) badass and classy wine connoisseur anarchist who teaches people to make their own s\u0336m\u0336o\u0336o\u0336t\u0336h\u0336i\u0336e\u0336s\u0336 pharmaceuticals<\/a>, might deign to have a sip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In that post, I explained techniques to save money, such as cold-calling companies and asking for a discount. That, in my own experience, can yield exasperated annoyance from customer service staff at one extreme, and at the opposite extreme, third-off coupon codes good forever. Another great idea is to join (or start!) your local Food Not Bombs chapter<\/a>, where long-term volunteers frequently have brilliant ideas for grabbing free grub, among them identifying which restaurants share surplus food, locating which dumpsters offer scavenging divers the best cuisine, and more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today I’d like to tell you about this one time I got something for zero bucks from a corporation. Except it ain’t fancy feast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time for the trash can<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Contrast
Mainlain that meme truth<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

The Internet of Things is the market segment for turning everyday consumer objects into online gizmos. If you fondly sing the praises of CRT televisions\u2014no, not Critical Race Theory TVs, I mean Cathode Ray Tube ones\u2014because they work unfailingly for half a century, and you correctly cast insults down upon giant flat-screen televisions that cost thousands but don’t work since they suddenly require downloading a patch from Samsung<\/a> or some other corp, then you too know the pitfalls of the Internet of Shit<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Gizmo-ification of everything even extends to trash cans. Of course, finding a trash can for your kitchen at the thrift store is the best! But at embarrassing moments, I’ve dragged myself into awful domestic big box stores such as Bed Bath and Beyond (beyond … where?). Those shameful moments when I’ve been absolutely convinced I immediately need a towel of a certain color or some stupidity like that. Besides punishing shoppers with in-store video advertising so loud you can hear it clear across the building, a nightmare retailer of this type will showcase for you the very latest in consumerist horror. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes, I mean today’s trash cans, the Internet-equipped ones you can talk to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let’s get something straight. Such technology can be important for people with disabilities and for other situations that may not leap to the minds of the privileged. I’m all for such innovations and would love to hear about them in the comments. Lemme know if I’m wrong, but I somehow doubt the trash cans at Bed Bath and Beyonc\u00e9 are the ideal options for such scenarios. And yeah, maybe a USian with a disability\u2014like, say, infatuation\u2014is driven to go to Bed Bath and BayBey because the legit need to impress a love interest has somehow got twisted into the anxiety-laden, bonkers idea that it all hinges on having that towel of the exact right color.<\/em> We’ve all been there, mutatis mutandis<\/em>, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Photo
Gotta save money betterez now, because reasons, i.e.<\/em>, ladies first<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

That said, before discussing saving money on a trash can, let’s by all means inspect a newfangled, expensive trash can that talks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh Goddess, please (don’t ever) trash me<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Witness, if you will, the 58 liter, dual compartment, voice-activated, motion-capable, stainless steel\u2014excuse me, make that brushed<\/em> stainless steel\u2014trash can a California-based company lovingly crafted just for o\u0336u\u0336r\u0336 \u0336w\u0336a\u0336l\u0336l\u0336e\u0336t\u0336s\u0336 us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Marketing
Yeah buddy, mine’s<\/em> got radiation<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
\"Marketing
Open can, because I really gotta go!<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
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